ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: The Writer, His Wife, and their Afterlife

Book One, Part Two, Chapter 49: The Fighter

One hospital scene stands out above all others.

It’s shortly after Thanksgiving. At my urging, Joshua and I leave Ernie’s room to take a walk, going even beyond the hospital’s grounds. Usually we don’t leave Ernie alone, and if we do, we don’t stay away too long.

“We’d better get back,” Joshua says. “Daddy will miss us.” He turns around and quickens his step.

“Sometimes I think I’ll go out of my mind if I stay in that room a minute longer,” I say. I struggle to keep up with Joshua’s long strides. “He’s dying. We can’t stop it from happening.”

“He’s not dead yet,” Joshua says.

When we re-enter Ernie’s room, Ernie’s mineral-blue eyes are blazing. “Where were you? I thought I was dead! I woke up and thought I was dead!”

Joshua goes to the far side of his bed, and I go to the near. Ernie takes Joshua’s hand in his left one, my hand in his right. “Fight! Fight! Fight!” he says, squeezing our hands. Then he looks at me, confusion on his face. His voice becomes a little boy’s voice. “What am I fighting?”