ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: The Writer, His Wife, and their Afterlife

Book One, Part One, Chapter 70: “Okay, Doc .”

Ernie calls the National Cancer Institute and is referred to the Bladder Cancer Awareness Network.

“You need a surgeon who does four or five radicals a week,” the spokeswoman says. “You’ll probably have to travel to a cancer center. There’s one in Indianapolis, affiliated with Indiana University and Purdue, and one in Nashville, affiliated with Vanderbilt. They’re the ones closest to you. Take your choice.”

Dr. Watkins knows the professor of urology with Indiana University/Purdue, Richard Bihrle. Urologists needing urinary surgery themselves go to him, so we choose Indianapolis. Joshua flies in from L. A., and we three drive to Indianapolis to meet with him. Ernie’s wearing a New York Yankees cap.

Tall and lean, with wavy gray hair, Dr. Bihrle leans casually against the desk in the consulting room to face us, seated in chairs. We three have pen and paper in hand, ready with our questions, ready to take notes.

“You’re a Yankees fan?” Dr. Bihrle asks Ernie.

“My son is. He gave me this cap.”

“I’ve been a Yankees fan all my life,” Dr. Bihrle says. “So, how do you feel?”

“I’m a mess. Plan A is this surgery. Plan B is to disappear into the heart of Mexico and drink myself into oblivion.”

It is? Ernie’s never told me this . . . yet I’ve never asked him how he feels, have I?

“Do you have pain in your flanks?”

Ernie answers in the affirmative. He answers all Dr. Bihrle’s questions in the affirmative.

“Have you done this operation on a man my age before?” Ernie asks him. “I turned eighty last month.”

“I’ve operated on a man in his nineties.”

“And he survived?”

“He did indeed.”

“How many radicals do you do a week?” Joshua asks.

“Sometimes five. Sometimes seven. It depends.”

“How long do you think the tumor has been there?” Ernie asks.

“Impossible to say.”

“I had a rigid cystoscoping on Valentine’s Day. My Louisville urologist said my bladder was clear. He saw no tumors.”

“I have the most up-to-date optics available. Our equipment is second to none.”

“We’d like this operation done as soon as possible,” I say.

“I agree. I’m booked through October, but I’m worried about the lapse of time here.” He looks to Ernie. “If we can get the okay for an operating room, we’ll see you here on Saturday morning. If my assistant can’t get the O.R. for this Saturday, we’ll do it the following Saturday, the seventeenth of September. Okay?”

Ernie rises to shake his hand. “Okay, doc.”