ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: The Writer, His Wife, and their Afterlife

Book One, Part Two, Chapter 176: Pulled in Two

It’s the morning of the seventh of December. One year ago, minutes before midnight, Ernie died.

Joshua and I sit in the dark living room of my childhood home.

“I wish I could promise I’d help you with the repair work on Charles Street, Joshua, but I’m not too strong myself emotionally. It was an act of will for me to put together that pasta sauce last night. I sliced the onion, and bits of it flew all over the floor. I’m not comfortable in this house, and you’re not comfortable in mine. Neither am I, for that matter. I’m a stranger in my own home.”

Joshua trusted his daddy. His daddy was always there for him. Joshua knows he can’t trust me. I can’t even trust myself.

I feel pulled in two. I want to help Joshua, and I want to help myself. Can I do both at the same time? I want to run away.

But where?