ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: Searching

Book Two, Chapter 39: Dead Gardens

My relationship with Joshua is becoming more real.

We have our better days and we have our tense days, but we take walks together and we talk. The level of unease within me and distrust within him is lessening. Judging from the progress he and I have made, I can only imagine how much more real my relationship with Ernie would also be.

Our marriage isn’t unique. Lots of couples are buttoned up with each other, thinking they’re each sparing the other’s feelings. But the hurt and frustration and resentment and anger come out, sooner or later, one way or another.

Secret gardens. That’s what Ernie and I were. We never found the key to unlock each other’s garden. We never found the key to unlock our own.

And, of course, we never blossomed.