2 min readJul 31, 2022



Book Two, Chapter 309: Joshua’s Monologue

It’s Thanksgiving afternoon. I call Joshua. He talks. It’s almost a monologue.

First, he talks of Christy.

“She needs anger-management classes. Her parents are messed up and really messed her up. She gets in fights with everyone. We had a monster fight only two weeks after we met. I stayed with her because I was attracted to her looks, and she’s smart, and she’s a true artist. The films we did kept us together the last few years. It was a business partnership. She’s gotten better, she’s worked on herself, but she still needs help.

“I’ve met two women here. Geralyn is smart. She’s into investment property. She’s into acting, square-dancing, doing fun things. If she wants to do something I want to do, I’ll do it. I’ve told her four times I’m not her boyfriend. We’re friends. She’s like a dude. I like hanging out with her. She’s a good conversationalist. She’s made me mad a few times. Once, I hung up on her. I’m not getting into an argument with a woman on the phone while I’m driving. That time she apologized for her immature behavior.

“Jodi is a good person. She has two dogs. They’re sweet, too, and spoiled, because she’s sweet. We’ve only had a few minor disagreements. She wants a baby, and I told her: ‘I don’t want a baby, not now. You’re almost forty. If you want a baby, you better get to it.’ She’s thinking about taking a job in Berea. She said: ‘You’re part of the equation. What do you think?’ I told her: ‘You make your own decision, Jodi. It’s up to you. That has nothing to do with me.’ I’m not lying to her. She knows I’m heading back to L. A. when I’m ready.”

He talks of his daddy.

“I miss him and think about him every day. I support the wrongful-death lawsuit because his urologist let him down, did not take care of him. I don’t want that doctor treating anyone else the way he treated Daddy. I had a different relationship with Daddy than you did. He was my father; he was your husband. And if Daddy were alive, he’d say to you: ‘Quit badgering Joshua. You’re badgering him.’ Now I’m tired. I’ve said enough.”

Later, I think this: Joshua taught himself, with a little help from an auto mechanic, how to re-wire a Karmann-Ghia. He taught himself, with a little help from a motorcycle mechanic, how to repair a motorcycle. He taught himself, by watching good actors, how to act. He taught himself, by directing three films, how to direct a film.

He’s a self-taught person. What he needs to know, he’ll learn in his own way.




My writer husband’s favorite nickname for me was Ernestina, so in this 2-book memoir, he is Ernie. This is his story, our story, and my story. I invite you in.