ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: Searching

Book Two, Chapter 99: Bad Things Finally Do Happen

For years, nothing out of the ordinary happened to any of us siblings. We grew up, all but one of us married, two divorced, one re-married. Among us we have nine children, with three of us childless. Four moved to other cities. Still, nothing out of the ordinary.

I used to wonder: When is something bad going to happen? And by bad, I meant sickness or death.

Then Tish’s husband was hospitalized, near death, from liver damage. In the Emergencvy Room, the nurse asked Tish: “How much has he had to drink this morning?” She replied: “Nothing but water.” Tish didn’t know, or was in denial, that her husand was a practicing alcoholic. For the past seven years she’s gone to Al-Anon meetings, and David’s gone to A.A. meetings. “I’ve learned to detach with love,” she says. “I mind my business, and he minds his.”

Then Jude was diagnosed with mitral-valve prolapse and has undergone two open-heart surgeries. She tires easily and takes a low dosage anti-depressant along with a lot of other meds. She tries to keep smiling. “I’m grateful for each new day,” she says.

Then Rich experienced his first epileptic attack. He’s on an anti-depressant, too, along with a lot of other medication. Vice-president of an epilepsy support group, he also attends a bi-polar support meeting occasionally. “I’ve learned to stay positive,” he says.

Then Steve spent fifteen years “in the hell of drinking.” At fifty-one he married Judy, an airline stewardess he’d first met years before at a yoga class, then re-met. He’s bought a house with her, and she’s stocked it with furniture, two dogs, a cat, and a turtle. He’s been in Recovery for twenty-two years. “I’ve found my purpose in life,” he says.

Then John was two weeks away from finalizing his second divorce. For months Rhonda stayed at her brother’s house. “At work he’s around a lot of talented women,” she says. “He likes to talk. I’m not a talker.” In the end, John changed his mind, and Rhonda moved back in. They’ve been to counseling. “Rhonda and I are in a much better place,” he says.

Then Ernie, in the last ten years of his life, was diagnosed with bladder cancer, prostate cancer, and colon cancer. He underwent a quintuple by-pass. Then the bladder tumors returned. Then he died, and I fell apart.

Now Joe is facing radiation to shrink a rectal tumor. Then he’ll undergo a round of chemo pills, then surgery. “I pray to St. Michael the Archangel and to St. Luke. Luke was a doctor, you know. And, of course, I pray to Our Lady.”

How to be healthy in mind, heart, and body? Because it takes all three to be in good working order, doesn’t it? To be truly healthy?