ERNIE AND ERNESTINA: Searching

Book Two, Chapter 34: Joshua’s Back-up Plan

Joshua showed the Charles Street house to Cindi and her husband, Scott. Scott seemed to like it.

A few days later Joshua offered it to them for ten thousand more than he paid for it. Cindi was agreeable, but no papers were signed. Then she called him back. “My husband wants to see it again.”

This morning Joshua did a little more work on the place. He wants to make it as attractive as possible before a second showing. Now, we’re on a walk. After a few more laps, he’ll take us to Lotsa Pasta for sandwiches. In the past month I’ve lost weight, and he’s trying to fatten me up. Bless his kind and generous heart.

“I ripped up the rest of the pink carpeting in the bedroom,” he says. “And remember that crucifix hanging near the bedroom ceiling?”

“Yes, I remember it.”

“Just as I reached up to take it down, I heard a loud crack. A rock had just hit the bedroom window. I rushed out the back door and saw three boys in the alley aiming rocks at the rear windows of the house.”

“Jesus. What did you do?”

“Shouted at them. Chased them all the way down the alley. They’re a lot younger than I am. They can run faster.”

“Did the glass crack?”

“No. That was lucky.”

“What if that had happened when Cindi and her husband were there? That might’ve killed a deal.”

“It was spooky,” Joshua says. “Just as I touched that crucifix, the rock hit. There’s something weird going on in that house on a spiritual level. I don’t know what it is, but I feel it.”

“What did you do with the crucifix?”

“At first I put it in the garbage bin next to the alley, but that seemed disrespectful, so I put it in the yard. Let the new owners decide what to do with it.”

Will Cindi and her husband be the new owners? I hope so.

“Last night I took my friend Gary over to see the place. I wanted his opinion.”

“What did he think?”

“The minute he stepped inside, he said: ‘This house doesn’t look like you.’ ”

“I guess not. It’s from the twenties. You like older homes.”

“The place is a fooler,” Joshua says. “Take off the porch with its three columns, take up the oak flooring, and what do you have? A four-room house sitting in a dip on a bleak street that dead-ends in a cemetery. No wonder the place has a bad vibe. Gary picked up on that, too. We couldn’t wait to lock up and get the hell out of there.”

“I hope Cindi takes it on.”

“If she doesn’t, I’ll put in two chandeliers, hang a pair of doors between the living room and dining room, and paint the walls a pale yellow. That’ll brighten it up. Then I’ll try to sell it for a twenty thousand profit. That’s my back-up plan.”

Joshua usually has a back-up plan. Over the years, he’s learned to think that way because, so many times, someone or something has let him down.